Ep 15: Ask Vanessa Anything: How to Deal with Sibling Jealousy and Overcome Shame with Practical Parenting Strategies
Step Into a World of
Calm Parenting…
and discover practical
parenting strategies anchored
in love, mutual respect, and appreciation.
with Vanessa Callaghan, MEd.
Embrace imperfection, challenge traditional norms,
& discover your authentic parenting style.
The Calm Empowered Parent Podcast
Immerse yourself in conversations that illuminate the path to a calm and empowered approach to parenting despite challenging child behaviors, dysregulated nervous systems, and upsetting power struggles. Engage with heartwarming anecdotes, expert wisdom, and hands-on guidance that will leave you feeling poised, connected, and tapped into the boundless potential of your family.
We're here to challenge the societal expectation that parents should already know everything they need to know about raising children, and to challenge the myth that they have to do it all alone and perfectly the first time.
Together, we believe building strong families is a powerful way to build resilience in our communities and the world at large.
Hi, I'm Vanessa
I am a parent empowerment coach with 20 years of experience in education and coaching. Through my research in positive psychology, Montessori, intrinsic motivation and resilience, I have developed an authentic, hands-on approach to coaching that empowers parents with high-quality tools so they can build a lifelong relationship based on respect, appreciation, and love.
I have developed The Calm Empowered Parent podcast to provide parents, caregivers, and educators a shame-free space that will leave them poised, connected, and tapped into the boundless potential of their families.
I can’t wait to embark on this journey together!
Rachel
mother of 3
I have been able to have a closer relationship with both my younger daughters, but especially my middle daughter. She and I have gotten to a good place where there is more baking cookies, snuggling, and reading together, which is what I really wanted. Before working with Vanessa, it felt like I was out of control, the house was out of control, I felt powerless as well as my husband and I being at odds. I really want to express my gratitude for changing our family life, and everyone just feels so much calmer and more loving in our life home. It's really been an amazing journey, and I'm really excited to be where I am now.
Workshop Attendee
Busy Parents of 6yo and 2.5 yo
Before we attended Vanessa's workshop, things were a bit frenetic in our households with our 6yo and 2.5 yo, and it was really helpful to meet with her! Raising kids and addressing challenges is never a one-size fits-all experience. We really appreciate how Vanessa draws from multiple tool boxes of strategies and adapted her suggestions to our unique family dynamics. She listened, shared key ideas, and gave us practices we could use right away. Our meeting got us in the right frame of mind for self-reflection and learning, and helped us focus on what we need to do next to improve things for ourselves and our kids. Thank you for your insights, Vanessa!
G. Babino
Father of the 5 year-old daughter
Thank You, Vanessa!
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The other day I had a question weighing on my mind regarding how to train my 5 year-old daughter on things when she refuses to be trained and instead insists on training me, even if it's a skill she hasn't even attempted before. I was strongly considering submitting this as a question for your next Ask Me Anything. As I was formulating what to write, I thought about how I had tried to take time for training, and how those efforts had fallen flat. I then watched an older video of yours on YouTube, after which I felt much more resourced as a parent. I then considered how you might respond to that question and what suggestions you might have. Then, I thought about using "connect before correct" instead of going straight into training.
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A particular sticking point for me has been how she pumps tons of hand soap down the drain whenever she washes her hands. I decided to lie down with her on the carpet while she was playing with her toys and get into her world a bit first. Then, I brought up the topic of handwashing and asked, out of a place of curiosity, why she pumped so much soap down the drain. She explained how she liked to look at the bubbles, which I appreciated and didn't realize prior to that point. I tried collaborating with her on a solution, and we landed on doing 1 pump for her hands and 3 pumps for bubbles in the sink (I had offered her either 1 or 2 pumps for her hands and 2 or 3 pumps for the sink). Afterwards I did the training questions that I've seen you model so well in your examples (how many pumps did we say you get for your hands?), and even managed to lighten things up during the training by throwing out some silly large numbers.
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In the end, I felt more relieved that the soap wouldn't be gone nearly as quickly as it had been for the past few months, and somewhat proud for how I managed to keep my lid on during the process. I realize this is only a first step in the process of scaffolding, and perhaps I could have offered better options, but overall I was impressed and astounded by how well the strategy worked, especially considering my OCD tendencies related to keeping the house clean.
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Thank you very much for being so willing to share your depth of wisdom and knowledge with us. I recently finished watching all of your YouTube videos, and what sticks out first and foremost is how you continually model everything that you teach, which you do so wonderfully. By showing AND telling, you're teaching us 10 to 100 times more effectively!
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Looking forward to your podcast!
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